In high school, we never sat through one single class of sex education because it would "encourage the behavior" and therefore wasn't allowed. So it was not surprising that, at the tender age of 18, I got pregnant with my daughter. I asked my Dr. to tie my tubes once I had her, certain that she was the only child I wanted, and I was told that I had to be at least 24 or have at least 3 children before it would even be considered. And I remember an uneasy feeling at having someone tell me when I could decide not to have more children. Fourteen years later and I am still a mother of one, but it has taken much effort and many forms of contraception to stay in tune with the plan I had for my family.
Now funding for the clinics that support this type of planning (PP) is being cut because the clinics support a woman's right to choice. So at least once a year I have to visit my PCP and pay upwards of $200 to have a myriad of tests run (only one, a pregnancy test, at all applicable) in order to obtain a Rx for birth control. Birth control which is, by the way, largely available over-the-counter in other developed countries (after all, there is no risk or benefit to "abusing" birth control). I pay for my Rx out of pocket monthly (because many insurance plans are no longer covering their costs), endure its side-effects and hope that (1) I remember to take it at the exact same time each night and (2) I don't accidentally take it with another medication that may render it ineffective. Amazing that we put a man on the moon some fifty years ago and still cannot develop effective birth control. IUD, the morning after-pill and other forms of contraception on are on the verge of being outlawed in states like my own (Mississippi), further restricting my access to quality reproductive healthcare.
So when the system (above) fails a woman and she has an unintended pregnancy, she resorts to her last available measure: an abortion. There, she is met with a group of protesters who call her a whore and a murderer; she endures a costly, painful and time-consuming process and is, at times, left with the guilt and grief of having to make such a decision.
If you took notice only to that last paragraph (whether appalled or pleased), then you are part of the problem. It seems to me that the debate on reproductive healthcare these days focuses on one lone issue: Roe v. Wade. But what about our broken system? Why not focus on other means of birth control so that fewer woman are left in a position to make to make a choice? Why require women to jump through hoops to be responsible for their reproductive health and also be angry when the hoops YOU helped to create result in an unintended pregnancies?
The old "abstinence" lectures are not working. In fact, they never have. Furthermore, why restrict access to available measures to control a situation simply because a person doesn't abstain? I've never heard of a doctor refusing a patient Lipitor because (s)he isn't abstaining from fast food. It's irrelevant.
Far too often I hear things like, "Do the crime, pay the time" or "I did it and now I have to be responsible for my actions" or "I know these consequence could happen and now I have to take it on." But is this really the mentality that we want families to begin with? One of obligation and consequence rather than love and desire to parent? How ready do you think these parents are? We have failed to protect them from the pregnancy and we've failed to prepare them for the ramifications. Yet we judge them. We place a stigma on teen moms that they will carry throughout their lives. We applaud their pro-life mentality and shun them for asking for government assistance because they were not financially prepared. We do not prepare our young men to protect themselves (often leaving it up to the woman) nor do we explain the difficulties of being a young father. We continue to fail them daily.
I encourage you to think about the many flaws in our broken system and how we might ensure more women are not forced to consider that final measure when all else has failed them. I encourage you, rather than spending your time trying to outlaw abortion, to focus on measures that open the door to more wide spread reproductive healthcare availability. I encourage you to talk to your child(ren), explaining that bringing a child into this world and raising it is a tremendous responsibility that cannot be taken lightly. I encourage you to focus on filling all the gaps in so women may plan their families without the burdens currently in place. Until we do this, women will always resort to the last measure as a final desperate means to plan her family--whether it be in your state or another, a doctor's office or an alleyway. Focus on fixing the system rather than blaming one who cannot navigate her way through it. Then, and only then, will women have fair and adequate reproductive healthcare.
